How We Stage and Sell Our Homes

We have bought three homes, and sold two in our almost nine years of marriage. Prepping a home to sell is HARD WORK, but I think it’s an opportunity for Lachlan and I to use our gifts to be a pretty great team. Even though it’s stressful, we both thrive in having a specific goal before us with mapped out tasks to accomplish together.

We are not expert decorators. Our lived in homes are not blog worthy. They’ve always been cozy and comfortable, with lots of things we love, and lots we’d change if we could. But I’d say we are pretty decent in the staging-and-prepping-to-sell department. Staging and decorating are completely different. True, if you have a well designed home, staging might be easier for you, and if it’s a pretty neutral style, it will appeal to lots of potential buyers, but you can certainly stage your home without spending lots of money or having the best decorated home. I think a well decorated home welcomes people into your space, a well staged home welcomes people into their space. It’s neutral, it guides the eye, it shows people what a well organized life might be like there, it focuses attention on the best of the home, and doesn’t distract from the home itself.

Over the past few months, several friends have put their homes up for sale, and ask us to give them some tips. In order to save some time, I wanted to compile our list here. Feel free to share this with others, and add your own tips in the comments! This is really just a place for me to have a link to send friends. It's not the best "blog," since I have no pictures, but here you go.

First thing, first.

Get a good realtor. It’s invaluable. In the Louisville area, we cannot over state how amazing Cynthia Madsen with Real Estate Unlimited has been.
She is the perfect balance of completely professional, with a caring heart. We are needy clients, we call a lot, we want to know things that other sellers don’t care about, we ask lots of questions. Cynthia is always available; either has an answer, or gets one quickly, and is a kind and warm person. Both of our homes have sold in short order with her at the helm-- 2 weeks and 6 weeks I believe. She was also a huge help in purchasing our homes. If you are anywhere near the Louisville area, use Cynthia. She’s represented lots of other friends as well, and they have all had great experiences. Tell her the Coffeys sent you!

 

BEFORE YOU LIST

 

 

Fix it...

This is the go crazy for 2 weeks part. Like totally crazy. Everything else on hold crazy. Stay up late and recruit babysitters if you can. You will hit the pillow hard these two weeks when you finally do make it to bed. You will stay up late, and get up early, and never sit down during your baby's naps. You will eat too much pizza. But at the end of those two weeks, you will stick that FOR SALE sign in the yard and feel so great. And you may not want to move, because your home will be amazing!

Make a list of all those little things you haven’t fixed; the loose door knob, the closet door that sticks, the creaky floor board. Do you have a light switch plate that is beige, and the switch is white? Change it. Eliminate any little thing you can that will be an eye sore or negative to the potential buyer. Make your Lowes list, and make your first trip. Introduce yourself. You are going to be BFFs with those people over the next few weeks.

Other things to consider; Do you need to repaint? Are there paint splatters all over your ceiling? Can you see finger prints on every wall or the art your 3 year old made for you that Mr. Clean and his Magic Eraser couldn’t defeat? Then the answer is “Yes, you do need to paint.” And the other answer is, “if you are not a great painter (splatters on the ceiling?) You need to hire someone.” I know. That stinks. But you really are paying yourself. Your house will sell faster. You will have to prepare for less showings. You WILL have an edge on your competition. Now, on the other hand, if you have a nice paint job, and the walls are clean and the trim in great shape, I don’t think that you have to have every room Beige. But Neon Orange may be something to consider changing.
 
You have to spend money to sell your home. And it’s painful. Because usually you are spending money on the things you never really cared about enough to spend money on. Our front steps on our last home were chipped and crumbling in spots. It wasn’t pretty, but it wasn’t the end of the world to us.  There were plenty of other things we WANTED to spend money on for our house, but when it comes to selling, you have to do it, because the buyers don’t want to spend money on those things either, and they start making a list in their head, comparing your home to the one down the street. The one without the crumbling front step will take the lead.
 

Pack it...

 

After you’ve made your ‘Fix It’ list, it’s time to start packing. At the end of this step, you will think, “WHY DO WE HAVE SO MUCH CRAP WE DON’T NEED?!?!” And you will also be half way done packing when you sell and it’s time to move. It’s like a gift to your future self. See? Glass half full.

Throw away, and donate as much as you can during this stage. Everything you do pack up in this stage, you should mark with some special symbol, to remind yourself to go through it again when you unpack at your next house. After living without it for a while, you will realize that you can toss or donate lots more of it.

We personally try to pack more than half our stuff up before we list. I HIGHLY recommend getting a storage unit, because half of your stuff also includes furniture. Shop around, google coupon codes, and do it. You want to have the bare minimum to keep your home livable.

Here are some room by room tips:

Kitchen

-Pack up all gadgets and specialty tools that you can. If you usually use a zester, but can use a pairing knife for a while, it gets packed.

-Reduce your pots and pans to the bare minimum it takes to make a dinner.

-All specialty pans, extra casseroles, everything, PACK IT! You should make it your goal to reduce each cabinet and drawer by 50%.

-Remove EVERYTHING from your counters, exception would be a coffeemaker and maybe a cookbook holder and cute cookbook.

-Do a good fridge clean out, toss and then scrub, organize it well.

-Organize your pantry and leave extra space. You don't want it to appear you ever lack for space

-A big bowl of apples or citrus looks great on your table, is useful, and last longer than flowers, although, I think fresh flowers are always nice.

Bath

-New shower curtain liner

-Reduce your towels to your best 6

-Eliminate all makeup, meds and bath crap by 75% Think basic. Foundation, mascara, eyeliner and 1 lip gloss. 1 lotion, 1 shampoo, 1 bodywash, 1 all-in-one kids wash.  If you happen to need more before you sell, just buy what you need.

-Cute hand soap and maybe a candle

Living room

-Keep no more than 4 DVDs out, if any.

-Reduce your furniture if you can. We stored one of our couches each time.

-Remove all family pictures, and try to keep, purchase or make just one large neutral piece of art.  

-If you have bookcase you can get rid of, do. If you need to keep the bookcase, or if you think it makes sense to, pack up 80% of your books. If you have to keep books that are not pretty, buy a cute basket that will fit on the shelf to put them in, otherwise, only keep books that are hardcover and look nice.

-Only 3 or 5 (odd number) of knickknacks can be kept.

-No toys in the living area.


Kids Room

-Get 2 cute non see through boxes for each kid room, 1 for  books and 1 for toys. Keep 1 or 2 special stuffed animals they sleep with.

-EVERYTHING ELSE IS PACKED AWAY

-Closets--reduce by 50% and color code arrange.

-1 sandal, 1 tennis shoe, and 1 school shoe set a kid (and snow boots if it’s winter)

-Remove flat sheets and just use a fitted sheet and quilt, it makes for really easy bed making for last minute showings. We’ve stopped using flat sheets for our kids at all, it’s just too hard for them to make beds with the sheet.


Master Bedroom

-DECLUTTER!

-Only keep out 2-3 books you are currently reading, a lamp and an alarm on your end table

-Clear your dresser (If you have two, see if you can reduce to one!)

-Cut your closet by 50-75% and arrange by color (You don’t have to give these clothes away, just make yourself do it. It will be much easier to keep up!)

-Keep a brown and black pair of dress shoes/heels, one pair of athletic, one sandal or flip flop and one pair of boots if it’s winter.


Dining Room

-Really keep this simple. Table, buffet if there is ample room, and a piece of art on the wall.

-Fresh fruit or flowers or a candle for the table.



Overall, reduce your furniture so that buyers can see the potential to live simply and have room to grow.



Outside
(If a buyer doesn’t think you take care of the outside, they may not go inside. We left a house or two without ever going in...)

-Add or feature an outdoor eating area. Consider a new umbrella for your patio set.

-LOTS of potted flowers! You can take them with you!

-Flowers for your front porch

-A seating area on the front porch, if possible, with a little table. (Help them imagine passing the evenings away here!)

-A new welcome mat

-A simple wreath

-You may want to consider painting your front door if it is too neutral, dated or worn. This is a pretty quick project that can really make a huge difference.

-Power wash your siding and porch if necessary.

-Stain your deck if needed.

-Lay new mulch, WEED, edge and keep your lawn looking nice.

-If it’s winter, make sure the sidewalk and steps are shoveled if it snows

Additionally...

-Make sure you do a crazy cleaning. Baseboards, mirrors, WINDOWS! Windows are one of the best indicators that you keep a clean house (note to self: Wash windows…)

-Scrub grout

-Clean the ceiling fans and light fixtures.

-Check all the corners (up high on the ceiling and down low behind door...this is where all the dust and cobwebs you miss on your regular cleaning go to hide...


LISTED AND TIME TO SHOW

-Turn on all the lights, open all the blinds and curtains, and make sure the windows are clean.

-Buy a couple of laundry baskets to run through the house and throw crap into them and put in your car. (Seriously you may have people drive by and want to see your house, and this will help have it show ready in 15 minutes!) YOU MUST COMMIT TO BRINGING SAID BASKETS BACK IN THE HOUSE TO DEAL WITH AFTER THE SHOWING!

-If you have any dirty dishes, put them in the dishwasher and start it (so long as its a quite one)

-If your washer and dryer are quiet, start a load of dirty laundry. If not, put dirty laundry in a closed non-see through hamper. Take unfolded laundry with you

-Make beds (it’s so easy with no flat sheets! J )

-Wipe down all counters, mirrors, and toilets.

-Take out the trash!

-Put the kids by the door with the iPad, or better yet, buckled in their car seats with a snack and the iPad.

-Light candles.

-If it’s winter and you have a fireplace, light it!

-Vacuum yourself out the door. (I usually just threw my vacuum in my trunk too)!

 

Reducing the stuff in your home makes managing last minute showing so much easier. When all the toys in your kids room go in one box, it’s easier for them to help as well. Ellory was such a happy kid with her reduced toy load. She actually played much better and kept her room clean on her own, she was 4 the last time we sold our home.

Then, just keep up on the daily stuff. If I knew we were having a showing, I’d try to mop, but if I couldn’t, I just sprayed the visible spots and wiped them up.

Help your realtor sell! Help write the description of your home. You know it best! Tell buyers about your neighborhood, where they can walk, what it’s like to sit on your front porch. What do you love about your home? A playroom near the family room? A kitchen where everyone can gather? The light in the living room?

We do not have pets, but we’ve looked at lots of houses with pets. TAKE YOUR PETS WITH YOU. It’s very weird to be in someone’s home, without them, and their pets to be there. Your pets are freaking out, and distracting us from seeing our potential home. Also, you may not know it, but your house smells like your pet. Spend the money to have your carpets cleaned and light some high quality candles. There was more than one house we walked in the door of and turned around and walked right back out of because of either smoke or heavy pet odors.

As best as you can, every time you leave your home, for work or the grocery, have it show ready. You won’t light candles and the fire place, but you should have beds made and dirty dishes put away. We got lots of requests for last minute showings when we were not home. Our neighbors or realtor would show up a few minutes early and light the candles, and do a quick run through. But it is a good habit to try to put your kids in the car, and run back through your home every time you leave. You never know who will be the buyer!

Selling your home is hard work, but if you put some up front effort into it, and develop some new habits, it can make your job much easier.

Happy Selling!

 

 

 

 

My Friend Loves Me, and I Love Her

One of the sweetest things about my life in Christ is the friendships I've been blessed with. These are not the kind of friends who always tell me that I am right, or who are there for me only when I have something to offer. These are friends who display the very real character of Christ, through encouragement and perseverance and steadfast love in the good, bad, joys and sorrows of life. I've learned so much about the Lord's perfect love for me, through these friends. I could literally dedicate this entire blog to the stories of friendship.

The Coffey and Cosper Kiddos, pre-Ehren. There are not enough ways to say "precious."

One of my blessings is Sarah. As soon as I met Sarah, I knew I loved her. And I felt that she loved me. When I started attending Sojourn in 2002, there was a certain insecurity I dealt with in wanting to establish friendships that were my own, and weren't based on my status as Lachlan's girlfriend. But with Mike and Sarah the history with Lachlan was more a comfort than a cause for me to be self-conscience. I love that Mike and Lachlan have been friends since 3rd grade. I love that Sarah and Lachlan were theatre geeks alongside one another and prom dates. I love the confidence Mike and Lachlan have as brothers in Christ, that allows them to speak truth, and fight and get mad and be like--well brothers-- with no fear in ever losing one another. I love that they were all apart of God's plan in starting this crazy thing called Sojourn in the living room of an apartment, with 9 other people. I also love that I got to work with Mike for a year and a half--and refuse to clean his stanky bathroom in that nasty apartment we tried to pass off as an office. I love that we got to receive pre-marital counseling from them, and were served communion by them at our wedding. I love that I borrowed Sarah's necklace to walk down the isle in, and that Mike was standing next to Lachlan, promising to fight for our marriage as we took our vows. I love how our first born girls are just 10 weeks apart, and that we get to chat in the waiting room of dance class each Thursday, watching them grow-up together. I love that Mike sometimes cooks gourmet meals for us, and that they brought us wine after Ehren was born. I also love that they've showed us how to suffer and love each other in the midst of it. We love the Mike and Sarah rule, that if you are sick, the other spouse has to go get you anything to eat that you want. We also love their rule on allowances for each other. And so we stole both of them.

 Lachlan and I are so very thankful to both journey alongside the Cospers and be led by them as well. Sarah is soft spoken and gentle, and I have so much to learn from her in how she speaks to and respects others. Mike is hands down one of the smartest people we know. Sarah has gone before me in the realm of suffering from an autoimmune disease. Her symptoms and suffering are beyond what I have had to endure. And I hate it for her--but I'm thankful, too. She kinda blew me away last night with a lovely letter that was addressed to me, but is applicable for all those faced with specifically Celiac Disease, but also other autoimmune sufferers or those with gluten allergies and sensitivities. Here is her post. If you are now, or have to go gluten free, this will be a good read. If those things don't apply, read it anyway and learn about going gluten free, and how much my friend loves me.

Here's praying you have such friends who love you as well as my friends love me!

Ehren's Room: Before and After

We've been in our home for just over a year. My sweet husband is a complete slave driver when it comes to settling into a home. The man cannot sleep if there are boxes unpacked. I was 5 months pregnant with our third child when we closed on this house and I had just come out of severe "morning-sickness" which required home health care. I was exceedingly huge for being 5 months along, extremely tired, with an aching back and insomnia. Not to mention a 4 year old and 21 month old.



 

Me, just after we moved in, and my crazies, loving the laundry shoot feature.

Lachlan painted 9 very large rooms in 3 days. We arranged furniture and unpacked boxes. As hard as those first 2 weeks were, I was happy to be (mostly) settled. One of the only rooms we put off was Ehren's room. Ellory Sue and Ezra had completed nurseries months before they came home from the hospital, but I just couldn't decide what to do in Ehren's room, and I was preoccupied with the rest of the house. The other issue is that I am cheap ya'll. It's one of my best and worst qualities. I have expensive taste, but I just can't bring myself to pay over $20 for almost anything. My wedding dress cost 100% more than my prom dress, and my prom dress was $20. It's a problem.

I ran across this amazing blog, and decided to loosely base my design on this. If you need inspiration for a nursery or child's room, you'll get lost on her page for hours. Remember, however,  that I am cheap--thrifty, I had set a basic budget of $200 for everything I needed for baby three. I'm talking layette, diapers, nursery items, the whole kit and caboodle. Here's the results. It's not design blog worthy, but I love it, and I'm learning that things don't have to be perfect. It's the smallest room in our house, and one of my favorites. It's been a precious place to rock and nurse my baby. 



 

Isn't he adorable?

 

 

Before:

After:

 

 

 

Black bookcase: Target, we bought this for Ellory's nursery. ET was his Christmas gift: eBay.  Wire E we've had forever, I bought it on clearance at Urban Outfitters.  Jimmy Eat World/ Taking Back Sunday print: eBay. Frame: Michael's. Vintage radio: Yesternook, for about $4.  "etc" is from Target, it was $20, I think I could have waited for it to be clearanced out, but they are his initials, and I didn't want to miss it. Robot tote: 31Bags, it was gifted to us by our sweet friend, Emily, and must be retired, because I can't find a link. 

 

 Vintage Metal Dresser: Yard Sale, it and the nightstand were in Ellory's room at our 2nd house, and were $60 for the pair. They are HEAVY and my favorite! Crib: gifted by our amazing friend's the Lewis Family. Bumper: gifted during a collaborated yard sale by our friends, the Eubanks Family, Sheets: Target, no long available. Mobile I made from a wire wreath form I spray painted, guitar picks and thread. The thread has been a complete tangled mess, but fishing line didn't work. We still love it. I bought the guitar picks at some random place on line, a huge pack was about $5. Art, Lachlan has owned since before we were dating.

 

Headphone art, I made by painting a canvas, and a decal from Uppercase Living, Changing Table, bought from a friend, $10. Changing pad and cover: Little Treasures Consignment Sale, less than $10. Pillow, Target, clearance from Ezra's nursery.

 

I originally bought an amazing mid century rocker for the nursery, but the back wasn't high enough, and it wasn't comfortable to nurse in, so we bought this recliner from a friend for $20. Sunny Day Real Estate print: eBay. Frame: Michael's. Lamp; Yesternook. (I spray painted) Shade: Target. Nightstand: vintage, yard sale. The beautiful quilt was handmade by our talented friend, Sarah Cosper. The embroidered pillow I made for Lachlan for our first Christmas when we were dating, although he tried to tell Ellory Sue that he made it in high school. (Wha?!) The Orange pillow was an old Target clearance.

Close up of the beautiful quilt.

 

The wall color is Benjamin Moore, Colorado Gray.

 

 

I realize that you can't get a good idea of the layout, but my ET is sleeping, so no more pictures for now.

What do you think every nursery needs?

 

 

 

 

 



 



Graphic Art

I've had my eye on these prints for a while. Our friends Scott and Emily have the one representing Germantown, and I'm drawn to it every time I'm at their house.  We bought the same print for our very missed neighbors and best friends, the Paces for Christmas. You'll see Nord's Bakery is featured, the place that inspired the poetry in my last post. I then bought and framed both the Germantown and Highlands print for me, I mean, Lachlan. We've spent most of our adult years in apartments and houses in the Highlands and Germantown neighborhoods in Louisville, KY. We are happily settled in our Indiana home, but a piece of me will always long for a little camel back or bungalow within walking distance of a coffee shop, countless local eateries, hardware stores and gift shops. We have them in our dining room, and every time I catch a glimpse, my heart is happy with all the memories it stirs up. It's like a snapshot of home.

The prints are by Madpixel, and can be purchased at one of our favorite stores Why Louisville, for $25.


We are still deciding if we like the casual "lean" of the prints, or if we are going to hang them. What do you think?



Going Gluten What?

On New Year's Eve I had some blood test run. We were trying to figure out why my usually controlled hypothyroid condition has been unable to be regulated, and why I've felt like I've had mono for the past 9 months. The blood work showed that there were high celiac antibodies, and that I am probably suffering from Celiac Disease as well. Two uncontrolled autoimmune diseases and 3 children under 5 make for one tired Momma. I'll be having an endoscopy on Friday to have a biopsy, to confirm if the blood work was accurate.

Celiac Disease is controlled through a gluten free diet. And. I. Am. Being. A. Big. Baby. About the prospect of the complete lifestyle change.

Lachlan has been a great encouragement in reminding me that our God is good, and Sovereign, and that though this will be hard, I have much to be thankful for! I'm getting there. I suppose because I can't quite remember what it feels like to have energy and feel "good", I'm wondering if I'd rather just remain miserable while enjoying beer and brownies.

As I begin to wrap my mind around my new diet, I've started a pinterst board with gluten free recipes. I'd love to have you follow along. Assuming this goes down, you'll be finding lots of reviews and thoughts on the recipes and the lifestyle here in the future. Until then, you'll find me stuffing my face with french toast, drinking the growler of meade I bought from Cumberland Brewery last night, and writing poetry to and about Nord's Doughnuts.

 

Crispy, salty bacon on sweet maple glaze

Your custard filled round sets my heart a blaze.

 

Perfect dough, cold before fried

No other doughnut will ever be tried.

 

You were not my first, but you will be my last.

You are the sweet taste of my Germantown past.

I'm bring blogging back....what?!

I think the reason I keep putting off starting this thing back up, is because I feel like I have to update all 6 of you with every detail of our lives from my last post. I'm an "all or nothing" kind of girl, and I need to stop it. Stop.

This time-to-blog thing is good for me. It's good for me to record the important and mundane that make up our journey, and it's good for me to have to think through it all.

Previously, our blog was almost solely devoted to updates on our adoption. Although we are currently considered "in process" with an agency, for a variety of reasons we are not actively pursuing paperwork at this time. I'll continue to give thoughts and updates as they become available.

In the mean time, I'm just going to use this as a place to share about our family and friends, about places we visit and products we love and don't love. I want this to be a record for our family to look back on. I want it to preserve memories-- joys and heartaches. I want it to make my kids laugh when I review the products that are completely outdated by the time they care to read this. I want our family to see the hand of our Sovereign God as we look back over the story of our lives.

New and Old Ways to Financially Support our Adoption

I'm hoping to give the 2 month update soon...I suppose not enough drastic or dramatic change has taken place...
For now, I wanted to remind everyone of ways you can support us financially during our journey to adopt.
We are pretty open about sharing that adoption is expensive (up to $30,000 in some estimations we've been given) and that we have almost none of it. We are working to be more and more wise with how we spend and save, and trying to be creative as we set out to raise money to bring our child home.
Here are old and new ways to support us;

Buy coffee or other products here:
https://justlovecoffee.com/thecoffeys


Donate to our Personal PayPal in the upper right hand corner of this blog.

Donate to the Tesfa Alliance PayPal here (you must include our name in the space provided, and note that PayPal will keep 2.2% of your donation for processing.

http://tesfaalliance.org/donate.php

The Tesfa Alliance is a non-profit organization run by some very close friends, who's purpose is to help families receive donations for their adoptions, and provide those wishing to donate a tax-deductible way to do so.

Also, for those of you who are local, I am making these growth charts for $35. Cash, check or PayPal.

Until I find a moment for a more detailed update, we have been busy preparing for Ehren's arrival, celebrating my 30th and Ezra's 2nd birthday, serving at Sojourn New Albany, and watching the Disvovery Channel series Gold Rush, streaming on Netflix.

Approved!

Our formal application to adopt a child, in the 0-2 age range from Ethiopia,has been approved!
The next step is for us to sign and initial a bunch o' documents and send in the application fee of $550. After they receive all the documents and money, we can proceed with the homestudy portion.
We learned this week, that unless we want an additional $500 homestudy adendum fee, we will have to wait until Ehren is born to complete our homestudy. This is a little bit of a bummer, because we were hoping to have most of the heavy duty paperwork and meetings completed before we re-enter newborn land, but since we are less than 3 months from his due date, and we will be able to complete everything excluding the last home visit (and, wait for it, a background clearance on Ehren...) we think it would be a silly financial decision to try to rush to complete what we'd have to revise anyway.
We'd appreciate specific prayer in time to complete our documents, interviews, and paperwork. Additionally, as with most families in the adoption process, we ask for prayer for financial provision. We've already had to pay these fees once to Holt and our previous homestudy agency, and so they are a bit of a kick in the pants. Also, be praying that Ehren isn't running some in-utero gambleing ring that will send up red falgs on his teeny tiny baby background check, this would be an epic brother fail.
Also, I am trying to convince my amazingly funny and wise husband to join in on the fun of YourCoffeyBreak. Don't you guys want to hear the banter and weirdness of the two of us posting? Will everyone leave a peer-pressured plea, addressed to Lachlan, to dust off his key board and enter blog-land?!

Lots more change...

Apparently, our whole world likes to change in 2 month seasons.
The week before Thanksgiving week, we were getting anxious about the house. We'd had a lot of good showings, but no offers. Lachlan was feeling a pull to jump start the adoption back as soon as possible, and decided that we would give the house until the first of December, and then we would call it, stay put, and start rolling in getting settled for Baby 3 and the adoption. We'd attended the open house at the private school we were considering for Ellory. Looking at the costs we (mmm...I) was overwhelmed. If we took the private school route, I knew we'd be committed for several years, at least until the Buna's adoption was finalized. A few days later we brainstormed, and decided to drop the price of our house the cost of Ellory's kindergarten tuition. We were pretty sure that Thanksgiving week was going to be slow for showings, which left us one week to sell. We got a showing request for Black Friday morning, and another request for the couple to return that afternoon.
We had an offer! And a good one at that!
We signed the agreement on Saturday, and on Sunday we went back out house hunting. We had our top house in mind (which had dropped 10k since we had seen it the first time), but we also wanted to see a few more in our price range, that would fit a growing family of six... SIX. This is crazy.
We felt so good about the house. We could picture our two babies turning into 4, and all of them growing into big, crazy teenagers there. The house was nearly double the size of our current digs, but still felt like a cozy home to grow together in.
We put in our offer. It was accepted, and 45 days later, we closed.
We have not quite been in our new house a month, but we are busy making it home. Lachlan painted almost every room. I'm putting all my pins from pinterest to use. (check me out here: pinterest) We've jumped into eldership at the New Albany campus of the church we attend, and we are loving it! Ellory will register for kindergarten NEXT MONTH, (let me take a moment to wipe a tear from my eye..) and as I approach my third trimester, I am tired, but feeling so much better, I've actually been cooking on a regular basis! (again, putting pinterest to good use).
Thank you all so much for your prayers. We know that our God's got this, but it's so sweet to know that brothers and sisters are petitioning for us.

Here's a look at our sweet home, I'll do a before and after post soon:


In other news:

Ellory Sue had her very first dance recital in December, and she did AWESOME! We were so proud. Here is a pic of Ellory Sue with one of her BFFs, Dorothy. Lachlan and Dorthy's Daddy, Mike have been best friends since 3rd grade! Isn't that amazing?! God is so good!


We found out that Baby #3 is a...

BOY!
I guess wrong EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We are really excited to welcome Ehren Thomasson into our family. My babycenter ap tells me there are 90 days until our due date! Yikes!
We knew we would stick with the "e" theme, and pretty quickly decided that if Baby 3 were a man-child, we would name him Ehren Thomasson. Ehren is the German spelling for Aaron. It means, "honorable." Thomas(son), was an apostle of Christ, and the meaning is "twin." More importantly to us, Ehren Thomasson is named after some very dear people. Our friend Aaron Marrs was an amazing friend to both of us. He was one of Lachlan's best friends, and for a short time my roommate. He was lost when his crab boat capsized in the Bering Sea off the coast of Alaska, just a few months before Lachlan and I were married. Aaron was full of laughter, always giving, creative, fun, and a friend to all. He had the gift of telling stories like no one else I've met. He loved Jesus with all his heart. Ehren will also be named after our dear friend, Erin Ferguson. Erin was the first Sojourn girl to take me in. She and Lachlan had a friendship that had gone back years, but it was her friendship to me that showed me I was in the right place. She has loved and served our family for years. Erin is so beautiful, creative, hilarious. She's a thinker and thoughtful friend. She's passionate about Christ and is a servant of the marginalized. Thomasson is a nod to my big brother, David Thomasson. Thom is only 5 years older than me, but as the man of our house growing up, he became so much more. It was his prodding letters from his college dorm room that helped me understand Christianity as a relationship with Christ, not a religion. His encouragement and love protected me in ways I'm sure I'm not even aware. We pray our little Ehren will grow into his own, but certainly he has many amazing qualities from his name sakes to strive after, most importantly surrendering his own life to Christ as Aaron, Erin, and Thom have. His a pretty blessed little dude already.

We had a great but busy Christmas, trying to keep things Christmasy while packing and preparing to move:





We cut down our Christmas tree with our friends, the Jentsch Family.



We went to the really fun, but way too expensive, KaLightascope at Galt House in downtown Louisville.



We did lots of advent celebrating, readings, and outings with the best neighbors ever, the Paces. (We sure do miss those guys!)



Ellory trying to wake her brother up for Christmas morning

And finally, the big adoption news:
We have submitted the prelim application, and today, the formal application to our new agency, Bethany Christian Services.

Please continue to pray for us as we enter into a very crazy year. New baby, the terribly terrific twos, kindergarten, adoption, church leadership, and continuing to make New Albany home. We Praise God for his provision and look forward to continuing to share our journey with you!

A special shout out to all those blog stalkers that I don't know about! I've met a few of you in the past weeks, and you have inspired me to do a better job keeping up!
Leave a comment and make your presence known, it makes us smile!

Love,
Terri for the Coffey House

2 months later...

It's been 2 months since our last blog entry.
2 months.
And. Everything.Is.Different.

At first, I had to take a moment to process, and then more things changed, and more and more, and then our computer was out of service, and I took it as a sign to wait, and then more things changed.
And now, here we are, 2 months later, and I don't even know where to start. If I poured every detail onto this page, it would be a short novel. Considering I am borderline ADD, and no one wants that much info, I'm going to do my best to outline our lives, and not get carried away into spelling out every detail.

The day following our last entry was uneventful, right up until about 10 minutes before Lachlan got home from work. There's no way to spell this out in terms that don't give you to much information into our personal lives, but my history basically requires me to take a pregnancy test each month. It's not a big deal, other than the fact that even cheap tests are not cheap. Except this month the test was positive. Really positive.
Immediately I was shocked. I wanted Lachlan. I didn't now how to respond.
When we found out we were expecting Ellory, it was an anticipated shock. We were not really trying to become parents, we just weren't not trying. We found out late on a Tuesday night, after a date. We laid in bed giggling and taking turns vocalizing "oh crap," in as many forms as our stunned brains could come up with.
Ezra was a different story. For 18 months we timed, calculated, planned for and tried every which way we knew how to become pregnant again. In hindsight, we know the Lord's timing was perfect, but in the midst of those 18 months, it was difficult and sad every time I stared at that single line...squinting, praying, willing all my momminess to see the plus sign. Nothing. Until the month I was stressed, and gave up for the month so we could pack and move and settle into our new home. Nothing more than preparing my second FULL pot of coffee one morning, just weeks after we closed on our home, made me think i should take a test...the last of my stock pile. Positive. Our little man was finally there, growing inside me. God's timing was sweet and perfect, and we were thankful.
But this third plus sign threw me for a loop. Certainly a small part of my heart was instantly joyful, but honestly most of it seemed to shatter...only held together until the moment my man walked through the door. Crash. This was terrible news for our Buna. I was well aware of the clause in our adoption agreement with our agency, "Pregnancy will terminate (seriously, this is the verb they chose!) the adoption process, regardless if you have been matched with a child." I could visibly see these words scrolling through my brain. No, we were not yet matched with a specific child, but our hearts were set on loving, praying for, pursuing and aching for a baby half way around the world. I felt as though we were being forced to give up one of our children in order that another might live. I don't expect that anyone who has not experienced the exact situation could understand.
The days following consisted of me crying. A lot. My emotions were all over the place. I was thankful for the life inside of me, and angry all at once. I was grieving a child that I thought existed, and coming to terms with the reality that Baby Buna just wasn't conceived, born, or ready for us yet. I questioned God's plan, and remembered his faithfulness and perfect timing with Ezra. I wondered why when we were purposeful in trying to conceive, we couldn't, and when we were more than careful not to, we did. Lachlan was so good to daily remind me of God's sovereignty. Clearly this child defied science, and was sent with purpose from our Father, the giver of all good things. Slowly, I chose to walk in faithfulness. With each day I was able to celebrate this new little one more, and grieve the path I though we were on less.
Our agency confirmed our fears, even with all our begging and pleading that we wanted to pursue BOTH new Coffeys simultaneously. They conceded to not "terminate", only pause our process, only becaus they had just announced they were no longer accepting applications for the Ethiopia program because of the many delays, and lack of referrals coming to them from their now reduced orphanage partners. Still, this was not good news. They wouldn't allow us to make any progress until Baby 3 turned 1 year old. With the delays, that meant that Baby Buna would not be Baby Coffey 4 until 2015, minimum. With updates to the program in the weeks following, it now seems that 2015 would be a long shot.
We were sad. We completely understand if families would make the decision to delay their adoption process if put in our same situation, but we felt confident that God was calling us to constantly pursue ALL our children, ALL the time.
Within a week my much dreaded morning sickness had appeared. We went to the doctor, and got an early ultrasound to confirm a due date, May 6, 2012, and were able to hear that sweet "swish swish swish" of heartbeat of a 6week and 5 day old babe. My normal cocktail of anti-nausea medicine was subscribed.
We began networking with all our adoption family connections, and praying that we could find an agency that would look at our family and our desires, and not simply lay out blanket rules to their process. Lachlan was able to communicate with a few recommendations, and felt really good about one of them, who said they would allow us to continue the process, simply slowing it down enough for us to adjust to the new addition before sending us a referral for our #4. (FOUR! this is crazy!). We decided to get through he first trimester before making a decision.
A couple weeks later, we were able to spend a long weekend with my best friend and her family in Alabama. I actually felt really good (given my history) and were had a sweet time with the Hall family, including a kid-free double date night!
The long drive home gave Lachlan and I the opportunity to talk and think and plan what life as 6 Coffeys would be like. This unexpected pregnancy, the pause in our adoption process, and the reality of parenting four children made many decisions we had already made resurface. So, in one trip down I-65, we decided that the ideal plan would be to 1. Sell our house, 2. Move to New Albany, 3. Restart the adoption process as soon as we settled.
The whys of all these things are both simple and complicated, but it mostly boiled down to, "this adoption process, regardless of the agency, is now going to take much longer. Our plan to send our kids to private school, which was already on a teetering point of what was financially feasible quickly dropped to the unfeasible end with the addition of another child, and our current public school option is in simple terms 'the pits'. Many of our very close friends live in New Albany, as well as Lachlan's mom and sister. The addition of a Sojourn campus there was a drawing point, and the public school system is better."
We are Coffeys. Well, perhaps I should say, we are the Coffey family under the leadership of my "do-it-now-husband," Lachlan, so we met with our favorite realtor the following day. We had packed up, decluttered, rearranged, and repaired all the "we'll get to it soon" projects within the week. 6 days after our drive, I was feeling worse, but the house was spotless, listed, and we had spent a day viewing potential homes across the river.
Time at this point becomes a complete blur to me. There were more huge personal decisions made. A ton of home viewings, lots of puking (not just from me), 2 UTI's for me...who knows what else. The day following my second OB appointment, my doctor called to tell me that after reviewing my infections and urinalysis, along with my 8 pound weight loss and my previous pregnancy history, she was putting me on 24 hour home health care, including a zofran pump and constant IV fluids.
God gave me the most amazing husband. I was discouraged, and weak and tired. He instantly took over our whole world. While I puked and began fusing with the fibers of our basement couch, he planned childcare, shuttled our children, took care of the house--in such a way that it was show ready at any moment--did laundry, shopping, and all the loving. All the while working hard and fulfilling all his additional responsibilities. Our friends organized meals and graciously parented and loved our children.
The zofran pump was soon sent back, because it gave me migraines that made me even more pukey than the pregnancy, and I was left on the only remaining anti-nausea medicine, which did in fact keep me from puking, but also left me zombie like and/or completely knocked out for most of the day.
Last week, I returned to the doctor for a check up, and we begged to be off the fluids. She agreed to give me a two week trial. Thankfully, I have felt relatively well the past week. Certainly escaping from my basement dungeon has helped my spirits. I am experimenting with how long I can go without the knock out meds, and trying to survive on half a dose when I do take it. There have been bumps, but so far so good, I think.
The house has yet to sell, but showings have picked up dramatically this past week. We are praying that we be sensitive to any clear direction from the Lord, while doing our best to make wise decisions for our family. Baby 3 is making their presence known early as I look much more pregnant than my 14.5 weeks, even though I am still below my starting weight. My back and hips are feeling much more late-third, then early-second trimester. We are anxious to return to the doctor next week, hopeful for a good report that will allow me to continue trying to hydrate myself with the help of fruit and polar pop ice, rather than IV bags and catheters. The plan is to have an ultrasound mid-December. As soon as we sell (or call it and decide to stay put...ay! the thought!...)we will begin the revamp of our homestudy, and dossier. Ethiopia seems to be changing policies and processes daily, so we are trying to keep up and be open to wherever our Great God leads us on the path to our child. On one hand I daily plead with God to make everything clear. I want it all. I want to know it all. And I want it now. But on the other hand, this process has been a painful yet sweet reminder that we are called to pursue the Lord and act in His wisdom, but His Sovereignty is what will see us through. He is faithful. He always has been. So for now, we are loving all our babies the best we know how and praying the Lord brings all 6 of us together, under some type of house, in either Louisville or New Albany, with one little Coffey in some school, and us attending one of our Sojourn campuses...soon! We'd be delighted if you joined us in praying that the Lord's will be done amongst our family!


-Practical note for all of our sweet and loving friends and family that have given financially to fund our adoption:
The bulk of our financial investment thus far was refunded to us, and is patiently waiting to be sent off again, whenever our process is back on. If you donated to us through the non-profit Tesfa Alliance, they are holding onto all our funds as well. As soon as we send them an invoice for accrued adoption costs, they will release the appropriate funds.
There will be a minimal amount of additional costs as we redo homestudies/update them, and as we submit our application to our new agency.
We are so thankful for your financial contributions. We still plan to creatively fund raise as life becomes more clear, and I am feeling better.
If you feel led to contribute, you can do so through The Tesfa Alliance, or through pal pal at the top of our page. Of course our coffee fund raiser is ongoing and would make great Christmas gifts! $5 from every bag goes to our adoption. http://www.justlovecoffee.com/thecoffeys
We are thankful!

Birthday, Traveling, Feeling like a whale, and PICTURES!

Ezzy eating yet another serving of blueberries on our Texas trip.

Poor Ezra. We captured Ellory's every move. Each new tooth, step, phase...it's documented. Then came Ezra. We adore him, but documentation wise, he didn't really join our family until our family vacation when he was 6 months old. The iPhone has spoiled me in that I can always snap a quick picture, but I usually don't do a thing with them after I text Lachlan. I'm currently loading the 444 pictures that have been on our camera since April. So, hopefully, by the end of this update, I will actually get to share a few with you!
On August 25th, Lachlan and I got to have a little date downtown. We went to the USCIS building, and got our fingerprints taken for immigration approval of our little one. It was easy, and we were told we had "very clear prints"--the technician said that meant our approval should move quickly, since they seemed to be prints that could easily be cleared by the computer system, and not marked to be additionally reviewed by an actual person, CSI style. What that actually means, I have no idea. Our best guess is around 2 months.
As soon as we get the USCIS approval, we hope to turn in our dossier, which we sent off our payment for the same day we had our prints taken. We need to kick our document gathering into full gear so that it will be ready to send off as soon as possible.
We found out yesterday that we have been a bit optimistic in our estimation of when we would receive a referral, a court date, and bring our little one home. I've been sick the past two days, and the news sent me into sick/sulking mode. Basically, we've been told that it will almost certainly be 2013, (yep, that's a one-three at the end of that) until we bring our Buna home---possibly even until we receive our referral. Pouty face. This timeline makes me feel like I am having the gestation of a whale with this child. It's not that this was completely unexpected, but to have it completely confirmed was a little jab to the heart. It does make me want to do everything possible to get that $11,900 fee turned in, not short of standing on the corner of Grinstead and I-64 and begging. Which I may just have to do considering that in the past 2 weeks we have been hit with a $2000 truck repair bill and a stolen lawn mower. Boo.
Until then, we are living life as 4 Coffeys. Lachlan turned 31 a few weeks ago, and was sub-par celebrated with a dinner out with the kids at Incredible Dave's, and a bottle of bourbon I bought for him 3 days late. Wah wah.
We were happy to get away as a family the week leading into Labor Day. We still had vouchers left over and almost ready to expire, so we flew down to Texas and were spoiled by a week with Lachlan's Uncle Bob and Aunt Sue. Ellory deemed our trip "the best vacation ever," which says a lot, since she still talks about last year's trip to Disney World on a regular basis. It was a relaxing time, that include morning and evening swims, floating in tubes in the river, and day trips to San Antonio, outlet malls, and caves. We were very blessed, Ellory and Ezra were spoiled rotten with all the blueberries and swimming and feeding deer they could take, and Aunt Sue practiced her superb-grandma skills by staying with Ezra during the river trip, allowing Lachaln and I to have a dinner out with his cousin and Uncle without the kiddos in tow, and feeding and putting Ez to bed while I took a late night swim with all the cousins, who so graciously drove in from their first week of college and med school in College Station to visit us for the night! (RUN.ON.SENTENCE)



Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We are certainly heavy hearted with the news of delays.

Why can't I figure out how to move pictures?!?! I give up. Here they are, out of order...

Attempt at a family pic on the San Antonio River Walk

Handsome boy at the Alamo

Can you see the deer? Ellory helped Uncle Bob feed the deer every morning and night...About 6-7 would come right up and eat.

4 Coffeys in Gatlinburg on a hike.--May 2011

Ellory Sue turns 4!--May 21, 2011

The Coffee Cousins in a dysfunctional Easter picture.

Our real life attempt at a family photo in front of the Alamo. Everyone is HOT and HUNGRY and not in the mood for happy picture capturing.


That's it for now. It's out of order, missing several, and took me all of nap time. YOU BETTER ENJOY IT!