Last Wednesday we mailed off our USCIS forms, along with $890.
Let me tell you a little story about how we don't have the money to adopt, and how God provides.
The weeks prior to sending off the documents, I had in my mind that it was either $300 or $600 we had to send in with it. Then, as I read the instructions on filling out the form, and what additional documents I needed to send with it, I saw the fee. $720 plus $85/each adult for biometrics. (The adoption just went sci-fi with the biometrics fee...) We are collecting money for Buna in an old oatmeal container that Ellory Sue decorated. I pulled out the yard sale money: $800. Certainly we could just pull from our regular budget for the extra $90. But, then Lachlan told me that a friend who we owed, wait for it, $90, for helping Lachlan with a paint job, had called to tell us to keep the money to apply toward the adoption. $890. Done. Thank you God. I'm looking forward to seeing how God will continue to provide for us through this process, and sharing it with you all. This wa0s a huge encouragement to me!
I just received a text this morning from USCIS confirming that our application was received and that an official mailed receipt would follow. So now we wait on our biometrics appointments to be scheduled, which is the FBI fingerprinting. I'm still not sure if that includes an interview. I've heard yes and no.
This week we are HARD AT WORK, organizing our next big yard sale, which will be held at our home, this Saturday at 8am. Yesterday, my amazing friend and neighbor Beth and I lost 5 pounds each in sweat, pulling all the donations we have received thus far out of the 110* garage, and organizing everything into priced piles. I'm surprised with both survived. My sister in law came to man the children, and hang about a billion shirts onto all the hangers we could find.
This week will be filled with pick ups and drop offs and more organizing.
I've also started selling shoes on eBay this week, as another way to fund the adoption. My first auctions end today, so I'm having fun watching the bids on one pair, and hoping the other two gain some last minute interest before the end of the day!
Our coffee fundraiser is going well! We have received $70 so far! If you want some delicious coffee, considering buying it here. $5 from every bag will help bring Baby Buna home. You can also "like" them on facebook, where you can get updates on sales and promotions--they have some good ones!
The other little Coffeys are doing great. (Excluding the THREE drink spills we have had in the past hour.) Ellory is soaking up reading her library books. I read them to her once, and she has basically memorized the entire thing. It's amazing, since my retention level is that of a concrete block. She's also entered into a season of being scared to be alone. She saw some British cartoon that had an "Ice Witch" that has plagued her since. On one hand, it's been a good lesson on taking our worries to Jesus, and reminding her that God is always with us, and always for us. On the other hand, our girl has always been so tough and brave, that this season has been difficult for me to be sensitive to. I'm not used to her having a frightened spirit.
Ezra is a wild man. He is cracking us up with his dance skills. (I think he got them from Lachlan...) He is a man of few words, but I think he is on the brink of a breakthrough. Yesterday his phrase of choice was "hot dog" and it was cute! He says Momma and DaDa, but usually only when he is mad...Wha?! And uses the phrase "what's that?" about 2,000 times a day. He loves bananas, and I may be ODing him on potassium. The man can trow down fruit, and rivals Jack Lalanne in the juicing department. I'm thinking of installing a funnel under his chin and selling at the farmer's market.
And, a shout out to Holly. A friend of a friend I met at Chic-fil-a last night who reads my blog! I didn't know anyone read my blog, much less strangers! Thanks Holly....just knowing that it's read is an encouragement. And thanks Tera for passing it on.
Love to you all!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
More Papers, More Money, More Planning, More Needing Jesus.
We need Jesus. We desperately.need.Jesus.
Sometimes you just have to call a spade, a spade. And the fact is, as soon as anyone asks me any question about our adoption, or the process, or says a word beginning with "a," I am instantly overwhelmed. I have not totally dissected this problem, but I will attempt to here:
First, I am a people pleaser, and I want to give people real answers when they ask real questions, and, as discussed before on this blog, when it comes to the adoption process, there doesn't seem to be any real answers. So I usually go into a 5 minute monologue that no one understands, and then end it with a good ol' shrug and say, "I don't really know."
Second, as pointed out in our sermon at church today, I am feeling more and more circumstantially joyful. And at this point in the process, there are not a ton of things to be joyful about. (Insert need for Jesus, and not the need for my joy to come from my children, or anything else.) We receive weekly updates on Ethiopia adoptions, and they are grim. I get bummed. I could not finish filling out the immigration form on Friday, because I needed assistance. Bummed. As we approach more notches in our adoption timeline, all I seem to see are money signs, and reach into empty pockets, and I feel...bummed. My trust that the Lord has called us to this process and will therefore see us through it is shaky. My fears about the whole thing then multiply. My heart is focused on the perfection of administrative details, and not the perfection of the Gospel.
So, I need Jesus. I need to turn my heart to prayer when I read those stink email updates. I need to remember that God's timing has always been and will always be perfect. I need to praise God that he has always taken care of us, and that he has given us the wisdom and ability to creatively raise money to bring home our baby. I need to recall all the fears I had when we were expecting Ellory and then Ezra, and see the Lord's hand at work in molding my heart and turning me to His strength to walk me through the unknowns.
This isn't about you, Terri. This isn't even about Baby Buna, or the Coffey family, or adoption. It's about Jesus. It's all about Jesus. So breathe. He is your joy.
Sometimes you just have to call a spade, a spade. And the fact is, as soon as anyone asks me any question about our adoption, or the process, or says a word beginning with "a," I am instantly overwhelmed. I have not totally dissected this problem, but I will attempt to here:
First, I am a people pleaser, and I want to give people real answers when they ask real questions, and, as discussed before on this blog, when it comes to the adoption process, there doesn't seem to be any real answers. So I usually go into a 5 minute monologue that no one understands, and then end it with a good ol' shrug and say, "I don't really know."
Second, as pointed out in our sermon at church today, I am feeling more and more circumstantially joyful. And at this point in the process, there are not a ton of things to be joyful about. (Insert need for Jesus, and not the need for my joy to come from my children, or anything else.) We receive weekly updates on Ethiopia adoptions, and they are grim. I get bummed. I could not finish filling out the immigration form on Friday, because I needed assistance. Bummed. As we approach more notches in our adoption timeline, all I seem to see are money signs, and reach into empty pockets, and I feel...bummed. My trust that the Lord has called us to this process and will therefore see us through it is shaky. My fears about the whole thing then multiply. My heart is focused on the perfection of administrative details, and not the perfection of the Gospel.
So, I need Jesus. I need to turn my heart to prayer when I read those stink email updates. I need to remember that God's timing has always been and will always be perfect. I need to praise God that he has always taken care of us, and that he has given us the wisdom and ability to creatively raise money to bring home our baby. I need to recall all the fears I had when we were expecting Ellory and then Ezra, and see the Lord's hand at work in molding my heart and turning me to His strength to walk me through the unknowns.
This isn't about you, Terri. This isn't even about Baby Buna, or the Coffey family, or adoption. It's about Jesus. It's all about Jesus. So breathe. He is your joy.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
At a loss.
I'm tired. I have very little energy.
I adore my children, but they are all exhausting. It's nothing in particular. Ellory Sue is actually pretty easy most days now-- after constant, consistent and what seemed to be never-ending discipline there for a while...in fact, I think I may still need to log some extra sleep hours or a pedicure, or some other restful event for those long days. Ezra is physically about all I can handle. He is most of the time happy, although we have entered into fits over the past few weeks. He's just needy, and wild, and a boy with lots and lots of energy. His highs are high and his lows are low, and both require my full attention, even if that means my full attention NOT to give him attention. Baby Buna, bless his (or her) heart may not have even taken an earthly breath, but I am emotionally exhausted by him. I think about Baby Buna all the time. Wondering if today is the day he is being born, or his first day at the orphanage...if he is being taken care of and loved and interacted with.
I'm actually yawning right this second, just thinking about it.
The reality is, the attention they require has gotten my rhythms out of rhyme. And this Coffey house likes it's rhymes. We're like Busta'.
So, our marriage is good, but needs some non-movie-watching-falling-asleep-on-the-couch time. And my friendships are good, but need some let's-not-talk-about-the-900-kids-between-us time.
And my time with the Lord is fine but needs some kick-in-the-pants-this-is-what-sustains-you time.
Lachlan and I have had some good conversations about prioritizing one another.
I'm heading out Saturday morning with a couple close friends for a night away.
Now to the sustaining stuff...how do you do it, Mommas? What do you read? Do you use a devotional? When do you do it? What's your thoughts on audio Bibles? Etc. Etc.
Everyone comment. Go.
I adore my children, but they are all exhausting. It's nothing in particular. Ellory Sue is actually pretty easy most days now-- after constant, consistent and what seemed to be never-ending discipline there for a while...in fact, I think I may still need to log some extra sleep hours or a pedicure, or some other restful event for those long days. Ezra is physically about all I can handle. He is most of the time happy, although we have entered into fits over the past few weeks. He's just needy, and wild, and a boy with lots and lots of energy. His highs are high and his lows are low, and both require my full attention, even if that means my full attention NOT to give him attention. Baby Buna, bless his (or her) heart may not have even taken an earthly breath, but I am emotionally exhausted by him. I think about Baby Buna all the time. Wondering if today is the day he is being born, or his first day at the orphanage...if he is being taken care of and loved and interacted with.
I'm actually yawning right this second, just thinking about it.
The reality is, the attention they require has gotten my rhythms out of rhyme. And this Coffey house likes it's rhymes. We're like Busta'.
So, our marriage is good, but needs some non-movie-watching-falling-asleep-on-the-couch time. And my friendships are good, but need some let's-not-talk-about-the-900-kids-between-us time.
And my time with the Lord is fine but needs some kick-in-the-pants-this-is-what-sustains-you time.
Lachlan and I have had some good conversations about prioritizing one another.
I'm heading out Saturday morning with a couple close friends for a night away.
Now to the sustaining stuff...how do you do it, Mommas? What do you read? Do you use a devotional? When do you do it? What's your thoughts on audio Bibles? Etc. Etc.
Everyone comment. Go.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
a not so updated update.
Several people have asked me for an overview of the whole process. Truthfully, I don't really know many details. It's all confusing to me, and things seem to change on a weekly basis. What we know now, may not be the case next week, but I thought I would give a quick update of timelines and details.
We are learning that this is how the adoption process goes.
Crazy.
Wait.
Crazy.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
We are in a "wait" period.
Friday we were sent the first draft of our homestudy, and we quickly made corrections to it and sent it back to our social worker. We heard today that our agency had made all it's changes as well, and we should have the final report done by the end of the week. As soon as the final copy is in our hands, we will finish up the dossier paperwork (all the stuff sent to Ethiopia), as we have to make sure that some of the facts and figures are an exact match to the homestudy report.
I'm pretty sure we can have the dossier work done within a week, since most of it is all ready finished, and just needs to be finalized, put on letterhead, and notarized. The hold up here could be that our next big fee is due along with the dossier. However, it is not the biggest chunk, so hopefully we will have both the papers and money in place by the end of July.
At the same time, we will fill out and send in the immigration paperwork. This whole thing is confusing to me. All that I know is that it will require us being given an appointment with the FBI to be finger printed, and perhaps interviewed.
I've been interviewed by the FBI before, and it's weird. I get all insecure and shifty-eyed, which I hope they are smart enough to realize is because I'm freaked out, and not for some crazy reason that would prevent me from adopting a child.
Supposedly the FBI clearance can take some time. Hopefully my crazy eyes will not add on to that.
Side note: Adoption people like to give you ridiculous ranges in time to go by. (I literally read one piece of information that gave a range for a particular part of the process in terms of 6-190 days! REALLY?!) You basically have no clue what to expect. They give you the short amount of time to give you great hope in that you may actually one day have your baby. And then they give you some other number, that would serve better as a telephone number, to make you want to curl up and cry and pray that you don't find yourself even close to touching it.
As soon as the dossier paperwork is approved, and immigration has passed us, and we pay the big ol' country fee, we will be put on the referral list. To the best of our knowledge, from the time we are placed on the list, we can expect a referral in 9-12 months...and because we have requested a child younger than Ezra, we can expect the double digit range of that.
Once we meet our baby, via picture and fact sheet, we wait again. This time for a court date. Then Lachlan and I will travel for about a week to meet our little Baby Buna face to face, spend some bonding time, and appear with our child in court to state our intentions and officially adopt our child.
Then we will say what I am sure will be a very tearful good-bye to our little Coffey, and come back home, and you guessed it...WAIT. Again.
Not.Looking.Forward.To.This.
As soon as we get the all clear from the courts, (1-3 months) we will get our butts on the next plane outta here and go back to Ethiopia to bring our babe home for good. Right where they belong.
Just a reminder that you can support us in many ways:
We are learning that this is how the adoption process goes.
Crazy.
Wait.
Crazy.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
We are in a "wait" period.
Friday we were sent the first draft of our homestudy, and we quickly made corrections to it and sent it back to our social worker. We heard today that our agency had made all it's changes as well, and we should have the final report done by the end of the week. As soon as the final copy is in our hands, we will finish up the dossier paperwork (all the stuff sent to Ethiopia), as we have to make sure that some of the facts and figures are an exact match to the homestudy report.
I'm pretty sure we can have the dossier work done within a week, since most of it is all ready finished, and just needs to be finalized, put on letterhead, and notarized. The hold up here could be that our next big fee is due along with the dossier. However, it is not the biggest chunk, so hopefully we will have both the papers and money in place by the end of July.
At the same time, we will fill out and send in the immigration paperwork. This whole thing is confusing to me. All that I know is that it will require us being given an appointment with the FBI to be finger printed, and perhaps interviewed.
I've been interviewed by the FBI before, and it's weird. I get all insecure and shifty-eyed, which I hope they are smart enough to realize is because I'm freaked out, and not for some crazy reason that would prevent me from adopting a child.
Supposedly the FBI clearance can take some time. Hopefully my crazy eyes will not add on to that.
Side note: Adoption people like to give you ridiculous ranges in time to go by. (I literally read one piece of information that gave a range for a particular part of the process in terms of 6-190 days! REALLY?!) You basically have no clue what to expect. They give you the short amount of time to give you great hope in that you may actually one day have your baby. And then they give you some other number, that would serve better as a telephone number, to make you want to curl up and cry and pray that you don't find yourself even close to touching it.
As soon as the dossier paperwork is approved, and immigration has passed us, and we pay the big ol' country fee, we will be put on the referral list. To the best of our knowledge, from the time we are placed on the list, we can expect a referral in 9-12 months...and because we have requested a child younger than Ezra, we can expect the double digit range of that.
Once we meet our baby, via picture and fact sheet, we wait again. This time for a court date. Then Lachlan and I will travel for about a week to meet our little Baby Buna face to face, spend some bonding time, and appear with our child in court to state our intentions and officially adopt our child.
Then we will say what I am sure will be a very tearful good-bye to our little Coffey, and come back home, and you guessed it...WAIT. Again.
Not.Looking.Forward.To.This.
As soon as we get the all clear from the courts, (1-3 months) we will get our butts on the next plane outta here and go back to Ethiopia to bring our babe home for good. Right where they belong.
Just a reminder that you can support us in many ways:
- PRAYER! This is an emotionally draining experience. It's important that our hope and trust be in our Sovereign God, and not in our agency, ourselves, or any other person or thing. Pray for our sweet baby.
- Buy some coffee from the roaster we have partnered with--$5 from every bag goes directly toward our adoption fees. www.justlovecoffee.com/thecoffeys
- Donate your unwanted items to us for our 2nd yard sale! We plan on having another at our house in a few weeks! You can call us if you need a truck to pick things up, or just drop it by our house!
- Give a service or item from your business to be auctioned at an upcoming fundraising event that you WILL NOT WANT TO MISS.
- Give financially to help us cover the estimated $22,000 it will take to bring home Baby Buna. You can give through the Pay Pal link at the top of our page, or you can send a tax deductible donation made out to The Tesfa Alliance, with a note indicating it is for the Coffey Family. www.tesfaalliance.org
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